Katt: i'm suing you guys
Ryan: Whyyyyyyyy?
Katt: y'all have to much fun no fair though
btw
i have been reading this site for the past half hour
it's letters by crazy people
Ryan: /il/
Katt: one guy writes about his swiss cheese fetish
Ryan: Fun? WE"RE DELIRIOUSSSS!@@@!!!L!!
Er, yeah?
... wait, no, pretend I didn't indicate an interest in knowing more about his fetish.
Katt: http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/
Ryan: Ah, this.
Katt: there are some pretty funny ones though
Ryan: Yeah- and some downright depressing ones.
Katt: like the one written by a person from the U.K. revenue service to this guy
HIIIILARIOUS
oh btw
what WERE you touching earlier?
Ryan: You'll HAVE to be more specific.
Katt: Jennifer was objecting
Ryan: You'll HAVE to be more specific.
Katt: ...
it was kind of vague
Ryan: Yes, well.
Katt: something about spicy gerbils or nipples or something?
Ryan: Uhm.
YOU'LL HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.
Katt: i can't breath (laughing really hard)
ummm
i don't know if i WANT to be more specific
the thought scares me just a lil bit
i already went as far as spicy nipples
btw were they hers or yours?
Ryan: Or were they the GERBIL'S?
Katt: there's a $100 dollar fee a day for keeping animals in here you know spicy or not!
Ryan: Oh, well, the gerbil's mysteriously gone now.
No worry!
Katt: and why are you having a threesome with a gerbil?
i mean
what is it's function???
btw i'm saving this chat
and posting it on my blog
Ryan: this is where Jennifer says "no, she's not!"
Katt: yes i am
Ryan: We'll be FAMOUS!
Katt: to about the 5 people who actually read my blog
Ryan: (don't listen to her!)
Katt: jordan is asking why you are chatting whilst having a menage a trois
with a gerbil
wait
do ALL of you have spicy nipples?
Ryan:
Katt: jen you ruined it by coming out of the room
Ryan: Jennifer: "Join us and see!"
Katt: sorry i'm a good christian girl i don't have sex with gerbils. spicy or otherwise
sorry mom hasn't sent me any scorned woman yet
Ryan: Missing out, I say, missing out.
Katt: is she talking to the gerbil or you?
how big is the gerbil?
Ryan: It's a JORDAN sized gerbil!
Katt: jordan wants to know if it has any friends
Ryan: IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
"Big enough to go around!"
Katt: around to what? it's butt?
so the jordan gerbil is playing with jennifers jordan?
Ryan: Maybeeeeeeeee.
But apparently it wants to go after JORDAN'S JORDAN.
Katt: where are you in all of this?
Ryan: wink
Katt: you're going to have to be more specific
Ryan: http://travel.webshots.com/photo/1116844646053599333iDATqp
Like THIS.
But SEXIER.
Katt: THAT would be a wombat
i didn't know you liked butt sex
Ryan: BUTT SEX? No no, that's GERBIL HUGGING.
You and your guttery mind!
Katt: it's a WOMBAT
when the heck did a wombat join this circus!?
...
HOW MANY ANIMALS HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE!?!??!
Ryan: DON'T TELL THE APARTMENT MANAGER.
Is he really a wombat? He said he was a gerbil!
Now we're not NEARLY as impressed with him.
Katt: I might have tell the police...
animal abuse and all
Ryan: HE LIKES IT.
Katt: is he squeaking?
Ryan: Like an *Asian*.
Katt: if he were squeaking like an asian i would be able to hear it
from across the complex
in building A
Ryan: We had to gag him.
(He suggested it, actually.)
Katt: Tell me now
is there any swiss cheese involved?
Ryan: We wouldn't take any, that's prostitution!
Katt: ... what?
Ryan: Accepting gifts for sex? That's just WRONG!
Katt: but cheese is good for you!
no, apparently, guys like it if you put it on the dangly bits!
i read it on the internets
Ryan: . . .
Katt: so it must be true
Ryan: No more internet for you, clearly you're misusing it.
Katt: now now
you're not the boss of me!
what's this i hear about "cheese sacks"?
Ryan: What?!
Not us!
Must be... your other neighbors...?
Katt: btw jordan's stomach has an elbow
maybe he can join your freak show
Ryan: The gerbil is TOTALLY INTO THAT.
Katt: oooh! I rhymed
Ryan: ... but us? Not so much.
Katt: what about the wombat?
and what does the block of cheese have to say?
Ryan: Pshh, cheese doesn't talk, silly Katt!
... And the wombat expresses disgust!
Katt: his weenis is amazing he says
does that sway you?
Ryan: Hmm.
Is it well lotioned?
A dry wenis is hardly a wenis at all.
Katt: jordan informs me that it will be lathered in soap in a few seconds
Ryan: Probably for the best.
http://blog.random-squeegee.com/wenis.jpg
Katt: OMG WHY DID YOU SHOW ME THAT YOU SICK FREAK!
eweweweweweew
there is a REASON i didn't watch that movie!
Doesn't he try to eat her?
Ryan: We liked the movie!
Oh, well....
Maybe?
I mean, she was kinda asking for it.
She was all "I hear this monster will try to eat me if I eat this grape. But gosh, doesn't it look juicy? OM NOM."
Katt: "gosh" huh?
Ryan: Yes, but in SPanish.
Thank you and goodnight
